Who am I?

My children see one facet of my life. Do they see me as an aging
parent? I am not really so old. Why suddenly do I feel old -
unable to make decisions.

I know my friends see different aspects of my life and character.
Friends from Africa see me one way, friends in Broken Arrow
another way. Friends from high school would tell you yet other
stories about me - my shyness - extreme. Teachers my
obedience, hard work, trying to please.

Each person would add something different to the mosiac of my
life. I am the sum of all these things. Not just one part. I am a
wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, co-worker, shy teenager.
All these make up who I am.

I look at my own Mother one way and my children see something
different. They don't know the whole story - neither do I. I
don't know all that happened to her as a child, a teenager, a young
bride.

So no one looks at us and sees the whole person. They only see a
part.

We all long to be understood, but how can another person fully
understand us.

I think of my husband when we first met, when we got married,
when we moved away from our parents to Memphis. It was the
two of us - facing what came our way.

I see him as a young man chasing the kids after worship services
at McKellar Ave at Memphis.

Our children see gray hair and ears that can no longer hear as
well. They do not see the young couple setting off on their own.
They do not know the dreams we had - the energy - the longings.
Once we were young like they were.

I do not want to be seen just as someone getting older - just as a
parent. I still have my dreams.

I have memories of my Dad, but I don't know him completely.
What were his dreams? What did he give up to be a dad? Who
was he as a young boy, a teenager, a young man in the war.

As I long to be understood and known by my children, I realize
I do not fully know them either - their hopes and dreams. But
we are family and love each other and there will always be
somewhat of a mystery about each one of us.

We are all so much more than any one person can know about us.
We are so complex - yearning to know and be known.